If you are over the age of 2, you most assuredly have felt the sting of rejection. Often times when a person experiences repeated rejection, they close themselves off to others; I speak from experience. Due to the rejection from people who, by virtue of their relation to me, should have loved me for a lifetime, I developed a deep fear of rejection. Because of this fear, I learned to approach relationships with caution, hesitantly, rarely (if ever) truly opening myself up to others. I protected myself from the pain of rejection by not showing people who I truly was and then if I did allow myself to open up, I waited in terror for the inevitable goodbye. I knew somehow I would not be good or loveable enough for whomever it was I had shared a part of myself with.
One day while reading my Bible, I came across a verse that I had read countless times but in this instance, it meant something entirely different to me.
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
I had always understood this verse to mean that if you live in God’s love, you will not be afraid of the things or circumstances in this world. As my faith and trust in Him grew, I witnessed, first hand, deliverance from such fear (ie heights and spiders…lol). This read through, however, the verse gained some very important context in my soul; there is no fear in love, so we are to love without fear. We are to love wholly, completely, with no holding back, even with the possibility of rejection looming on the horizon. We are to love as the Lord does.
Romans 5:8 “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
1 John 4:9-10 “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
God does not love us hesitantly or cautiously. God, the Son, became a human being in order to give His life for both our salvation and God the Father’s glorification. He did not live in fear of rejection- He knew He would be rejected, but that did not stop Him. In fact, as He was being rejected by people while on the cross, He prayed for them.
Luke 23:33-34 “And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ And they cast lots to divide his garments.”
As the Lord Jesus Christ loves us, we are commanded to love others.
John 13:34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
You may be wondering what that means, exactly.
John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
In plain speak, we are to love others all the way, neither focusing on protecting ourselves nor worrying that we will not measure up somehow. We are to love without fear. Will we disappoint others? Sure. Will everyone like us? Not a chance. Will everyone appreciate or return our love? Of course not. Will we be rejected by some? Most definitely. Should we fear this rejection or let it stymie our love? Emphatically no. Our love should look like His:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…”
Love directed towards us from others may come to an end. If it does, it was not the love from God and was bound to be temporary. If we love with God’s love, it will never end and will bring glory to our Father in Heaven. So, we are to love as Christ loved us- sacrificially, completely, and without a drop of fear. Of course, this love towards others is not possible until we first have it towards God, Himself, and loving Him should be fearless since He never rejects His own.
Mark 12:30 “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
Hebrews 13:5b “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
P.S. I could not write about the love of God without including my favorite verses. Please notice that the passage of scripture which God has made so special to my heart is a response to my own fear, a personal reassurance from Him that I have nothing to fear in loving Him. He is an awesome God.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Love in Christ,
Monica Ledford