I learned a very powerful lesson later in life that I wish I had learned earlier. If you’re younger than me and you’re reading this, then my encouragement is to listen closely – this blog may save you some recurring heartache, regret, and self-doubt.
We humans live within the construct of time. This means that we experience our lives as a bunch of stitched together moments on a timeline. When we look back at our lives, we call it “history”. We call today the “present”, and we call tomorrow and so on the “future”. The first lesson is this (though not the reason for the blog – I’ll get to that):
We cannot control the past or the future. “The past is history and the future is a mystery,” as some might quip. That leaves us in the present, where we can direct our attention to influence outcomes.
Jesus said, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).
The future tends to worry us because we’re unsure about what it might bring. Sure, the more prepared we make ourselves, the more confident we are about it; however, we can never have complete confidence about it. All we have to do to prove that is look back on our own lives and compare what we thought would happen at a specific time with what actually did. Most days I laugh about the plans I’ve made in light of what God has ordained.
In his 1785 poem, To a Mouse, Robert Burns wrote a famous line, “The best-laid plans of mice and men oft’ go awry,” which highlights the unpredictability of life and the futility of excessive planning. Sounds a bit like something Solomon might have written in the Book of Ecclesiastes, a book filled with wisdom, or elsewhere, for example:
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
– Proverbs 19:21
Only arrogance will persist in presuming it knows what tomorrow brings. Still, the future is not the focus of this blog. It’s the past that haunts us, so the Holy Spirit wants us to turn our attention to our relationship with our past.
I’ve often taught from my pulpit that disappointment is nothing more than failed expectations. Given the fact that we are all flawed human beings, what do we expect from ourselves, perfection? That’s laughable! So here comes the lesson.
We ought to aspire to do the very best we can, with the very best intentions, and along the way we ought to expect to fail miserably. In the presence of failure, we have two options: wallow in it and be haunted by it for the rest of our lives or learn from it and be sanctified to God’s glory! Our human nature (and others’, too) prefers the prior, while our new nature (along with God) prefers the latter. Same set of circumstances, two very different outcomes! Nothing more than perspective.
Paul had this nailed down later on in his life, also.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.
– Philippians 3:13-15
As we love to say, “Hindsight is 20/20,” which means it’s easy to see the causes of our failures, even analyze them ad nauseum, when they are history. Most of the time, we don’t even realize said failure when we’re in the throes of it, do we? It isn’t until later that we say, “Well, I messed that up!”
The very best we can ever ask of ourselves is to make the best decisions we can in the present, exercising integrity to whatever data and knowledge we currently have at our disposal. We cannot look back on our lives with debilitating disgust after we’ve learned wisdom from God’s Word. What we must remember is, in that moment, we did the best we could. God sees the heart, remember. While we’re always responsible for our failures, God is merciful to the ignorant and immature.
And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.
– Luke 12:47-48
My encouragement here is to do as Paul wrote, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13b). I’m not suggesting you don’t learn from your mistakes – that’d be a huge missed opportunity for you. What I’m saying is that you mustn’t allow past failures to cripple your future.
Your past does not define who you are – God does. You are not the sum of your mistakes, my friend. You are the sum of God’s work in you. Remember even your mistakes were ordained by God. Sure, you suffer for them, but God’s ways include you bringing glory to Him, to His good pleasure, despite your failures.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
– Romans 8:28
Never allow another flawed human being to keep you down, citing your failures. Instead, share how you’ve learned from your mistakes and that by the grace of God you’re still here on Earth, able to glorify Him (Luke 7:47). Tell them how grateful you are for the following:
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
– Romans 5:6-8
Apparently, even with all of your failures, you were worth saving to God. Let that marinate in your soul the next time your or someone else’s human flesh wants to throw the past in your face.
At the end of your life, my hope is the same for you as it is for myself; that despite all of the self-doubt and anguish along the way, the incessant attacks and constant reminders, courtesy of the kingdom of darkness, that I failed miserably, I want to wholeheartedly utter the following:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
– 2 Timothy 4:7
Just remember that 20/20 in hindsight is meaningless to God. He sees the end from the beginning. The One who died for your sins is the Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 22:13). Learn to take your lumps in stride. Learn from your failures, and remember, you are not the sum of your mistakes. You are the sum of God’s work in you.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
– Hebrews 12:11-14
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins