By world standards, “good” parents make bank deposits on behalf of their children, often when the kids don’t even realize it until years later, when the principle and interest accrued make for a nice car payment, college tuition, etc. There are a variety of investment options, including savings accounts, government bonds, 529 education savings plans, and the like.
Parents need to be good investors.
If you’re a parent, you’re an investor, whether you like it or not. If you’re not a parent, then you’ve at least had a couple of them that have invested in your future. There’s no such thing as a parent who hasn’t invested in their children. The issue is how parents invest. I’m obviously not just writing about money. Money is the least of a child’s problems.
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
— Matthew 6:25-27
The greatest investment a parent will ever make on behalf of their children is in the spiritual realm.
Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.
— Revelation 3:17-18
Parents are given the opportunity to make “deposits” into the accounts of their children – only in the spiritual case, they may or may not be good ones. It’s entirely possible that a bad parent heap a load of spiritual “debt” to the account of their children. What I mean to say is that parents, given their familial influence, can wreak havoc in the lives of their unsuspecting children.
There are few responsibilities greater than being a parent. Poor investors ought to think twice before deciding to have children. Selfishness and parenting are mutually exclusive things.
Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
— Proverbs 22:6
In this spiritual metaphor, the “bank account” I’m referring to is the welfare of the child. Parents are responsible for many, many transactions before a child up and leaves the household to navigate the world on their own. Some children leave the home with tremendous spiritual wealth, while others are at a terrible disadvantage due to debt accrued from poor investments made on their behalf.
A perfect example of a poor investment is what we might dub, “deferral”. This is when a parent realizes that their child is wrong about something, not realizing the severity of their circumstances for themselves, being sophomoric (wise in their own estimation), and the parent chooses the path of least resistance, either doing nothing, or even worse, contributing to the delinquency of their child. A selfish parent will choose to make their own life easier, while a selfless parent will meet difficult situations head on, in the moment, regardless of how inconvenient, embarrassing, or heart wrenching.
Life is filled with critical moments.
Good parents shine in those moments by training up their children in the ways of our Lord, whereas bad ones defer to another day. The prior is a good investment strategy, the latter, a poor one. Both kinds of investments, once made, bear interest over time. In other words, the longer the lesson remains in the “bank”, the larger it becomes in the soul. If a parent reinforces something negative in a child, by the time the child is out on their own in the world, they are strapped with the burden of “debt”…something they didn’t even intend on accruing for themselves. “Gee, thanks mom and dad,” they might say sarcastically. Can you blame them?
I’m not throwing stones here – God knows I’m as imperfect a parent as the next guy. All I’m saying is that growing up, children don’t invest in themselves – they don’t know how. It’s wonderfully encouraging to see a small group of young adults who have been well trained and, as a result, are able to handle the stresses of this world. On the flip side, there are lots of young people who not only haven’t been exposed to God’s Word, but also have tremendous debt to their account, weighing them down before they even get a start on life.
A parent who chooses to be lazy, not addressing or nipping something in the bud, as necessary and timely, is essentially taking a potential credit and depositing it into their kid’s account as a debit, often without the child realizing what’s being done. It isn’t until later on in life that the child realizes the full impact of the “bad deposits” their parent(s) made to their account, and the compounding issue of “interest” on top of that!
Parents, be good investors. Children, be forgiving of your parents, for they are flawed just like you. God is patient, but He is also demanding. When He delegates authority to parents, He makes those people investors. Even a parent that abandons their child has made an investment, depositing “You’re not worth it” to their child’s account. That’s a heavy burden to carry around, even as an adult. Thank God we are made His children, adopted into His perfect family at salvation.
He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.
— Ephesians 1:5-6
If you’re a parent, be a good one. Don’t shrink away from conflict with your kids; embrace it as an opportunity to teach them a lesson. All children are born totally depraved, with natures that want nothing to do with God and everything to do with themselves. It’s your job to stand firm in the faith, encouraging and disciplining, whichever God deems as a “credit”, not a “debit”. That is love.
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.
— 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Good parental investing far outweighs any success on Wall Street. What good is leaving your children with an inheritance that perishes? The critical deposits are the spiritual ones, and they are time-sensitive windows of opportunity. Make them count when you have the chance – it’s much harder to reinvest when the “stock market” has crashed or is severely depressed. Don’t saddle your kids with debt because you’re too self-absorbed to be a good parent. It’s difficult enough out there without us sending our kids out into the world with clipped wings.
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins