I was a nerd in college. My best friend at the time was arguably an even bigger nerd than I was. We studied hard and both graduated a grueling engineering course of study with highest distinction (summa cum laude). Looking back at those days you might think that it was all ups and no downs. You’d be wrong.
Like any difficult program, there were what we called “weeder” classes (as in ridding a garden of unwanted weeds). Those were the classes that separated the students who really wanted to finish the course from those who would ultimately wash out, change majors, or just didn’t have what it took to graduate. Weeder classes were difficult for everyone, and you got the sense that some of the professors teaching them enjoyed watching their pupils squirm.
My friend and I had to get used to failing. It was an uncomfortable learning process. I remember getting a test back in a computer engineering class and my jaw dropping, along with my spirit, when I saw the grade – 13. That’s right, as in 13/100. My friend scored just north of that with an 18. This was devastating to a couple of guys trying to graduate with highest honors.
When you put your best foot forward and you fail, sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh.
So, that’s what my friend and I learned to do – laugh at failure. It got so severe at one point that we made up a jingle after my favorite Sesame Street character, the Cookie Monster (here’s another blog titled C Is for Cookie you might enjoy). You may recall his song that went, “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me…” We changed the words and kept the melody, “D is for diploma, that’s good enough for me…” What else can you do when you pour all of your energy into succeeding at something and you come up short? Did we take our failures seriously? Of course. Did we grind even harder? Usually, if there was anything left beyond a nub to grind. However, sometimes we just laughed, sang our song, and went golfing, seeking a change of perspective.
Once you fail, it’s over. You can’t change what happened yesterday. Yesterday’s events are gone forever. There’s no sense dwelling on failure for too long, especially if you did everything you could to succeed. Learn to laugh at yourself and your circumstances.
Am I suggesting that you don’t take life seriously or even the consequences which often accompany failure? Not at all. I’m trying to give you perspective about failure. Everyone fails, has failed, and will continue to fail. The only exception, of course, is Jesus.
Moses murdered an Egyptian. I’d say that’s a failure. King David wanted another man’s wife, so he sent her husband into battle to his death. Fail! Likewise, Paul shared with us that he was no stranger to failure, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15), and yet his legacy is among the greatest in human history. Each of these great men remained inspired.
If there were never the possibility of failure, then there wouldn’t be a “fight”.
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.
-2 Timothy 4:7-8
In many ways, we are born to fight. Without it, our desire to live atrophies and we become depressed. Why do the uber-successful continue to work? Because the fight, the struggle, is what inspires them to get out of bed in the morning. I can say the same thing about my professional life in industry, as well as my life in ministry. Without something to fight for, I’m not sure what purpose I’d have here on Earth.
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.
Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops.
Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
-2 Timothy 2:1-7
A person who thinks that life is at its best when the fight is over loses their sense of purpose, which is depressing, debilitating, and even fatal. Have you ever heard someone say, “They just gave up and died…they didn’t have any fight left in them”? This is a reference to those who have lost their will to live.
To fight is to live. To fight for Christ is the pinnacle of living.
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
-Philippians 1:21
Living and failure are almost synonymous. To live is to fail. To fail is to live. We fight to succeed and yet we are guaranteed losses. My friend, welcome to life. Even so, let us embrace this reality as the one the Lord has designed for us, for He truly has. When He adopted you into His family, He didn’t create in you a spirit of defeat that leads to depression. He gave you purpose. This purpose is meant to be a flame inside of you!
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
-2 Timothy 1:6-7
When you fail, do not be overcome by it. Put it in its rightful place in your soul. Chalk it up as living. You can’t change history, but you can learn from it. Sometimes you just have to laugh about it. Whatever you do, just don’t lose sight of your sense of purpose.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.
-Philippians 3:12-15
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins