This is a difficult topic to write about because it lays bare one of the most insidious, though relatively common, practices humankind has ever known. In your mind, raise your hand if you’ve ever broken a vow. Now, be honest, why was that the case? Chances are you had a change of heart on a matter. And to avoid any guilt you likely looked for, and possibly found, a way to justify infidelity to your own word.
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
– James 5:12
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “A contract is only as good as the paper it’s printed on”. The point is that it is a person’s word that counts. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been burned out of multiple contracts, which has cost me thousands of dollars. This is why I’d much rather make a contract with a God-fearing person than an unbeliever (all things otherwise held the same). At least there’s a better chance the believer will hold fast to their word in honor of God’s will.
Jesus said:
“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.
Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.
– Matthew 5:33-37
Let’s get back to the crux of this blog. Selfishness. What is it about selfishness that destroys a vow? Well, for starters, a selfish person cannot exercise true integrity to their good conscience. It’s an impossibility because the law of integrity is the Word of God, and the law of selfishness is the human flesh. Since these are mutually exclusive entities, they cannot coexist in harmony.
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
– Galatians 5:17
Arguably, the easiest example to pick on with humans is regarding money. It’s astounding how quickly a vow goes out the window when it comes to keeping and/or making money for oneself. I see it in my own church, even, where members vow to support the ministry, both with their time and treasure, and yet they frequently default on their promises. There’s no real justification for them breaking their vow other than they wanted to spend their time and/or money on something else.
No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.
– Matthew 6:24
The other easy target for this malady is personal relationships. How many love songs have people dedicated to one another that promise love and fidelity and yet never last (e.g., over half of marriages in the U.S., most of which involve explicit vows, end in divorce. FYI – God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16)? This is why you ought to really know and trust a person’s word before you make any vows about your relationship with them.
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many words.
When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.
– Ecclesiastes 5:2-5
Most vows never surpass a person’s selfishness. Why? Because, in general, people lack integrity. Vows depend wholly on integrity. Frankly, most people have no real intention of even keeping their vows; rather, their flesh uses vows as the instrument to seize an advantage for selfish reasons. When it comes to the proclamation of love, especially, this issue is rampant. Most people are selfish lovers (e.g., they love because others have something of value to give to them). Selfless lovers are rare in my experience (Jesus being the perfect example).
Am I trying to be a bummer by writing this blog? Not at all. I just feel that since truth is what sets us free from the bondage of human flesh, then we might as well seek freedom by being honest with ourselves. With that as our starting point, we have a chance at selfless living.
Have any of us ever kept all our vows? That’s laughable. In most cases, our vows don’t stand a chance when pitted against our selfishness.
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins